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"My children don't listen to me!" פרשת השבוע תולדות / Parashat Toledot / Generations; Year 5762; By Messianic Jewish Rabbi Ya'acov Farber, Congregation Melech Yisrael, Toronto, Canada; Bereshit / Genesis 25:19-28:9; Mal'achi / Malachi 1:1-2:7; Romim / Romans 9:6-13
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"My children don't listen to me!"

Although Parasha Toldot contains a wealth of information, the Scriptures I'd like to focus on in this Parasha are:

Bereshit {25:21} Yitzchak entreated HaSHEM for his wife, because she was barren. HaSHEM was entreated by him, and Rivkah his wife conceived. {25:22} The children struggled together within her. She said, "If it be so, why do I live?" She went to inquire of HaSHEM. {25:23} HaSHEM said to her, Two nations are in your womb, Two peoples will be separated from your body. The one people will be stronger than the other people. The elder will serve the younger.

Scripture tells us that Yitzchak (Isaac) and Rivkah (Rebecca) had been praying for a child. Now 20 years later their prayers are finally answered. Wouldn't you think therefore when G-d finally answers their prayers and Rivkah becomes pregnant, this would be a trouble free pregnancy? From these Scriptures we can see that it wasn't! In essence Rivkah was saying in verse 22 is: " G-d I'm finally pregnant, after so many years of praying you've finally opened my womb. This pregnancy is an answer to prayer, so why am I in much pain and difficulty? I just want to die!" Rivkah didn't know she was having twins and she certainly didn't know the character of these two children she was carrying, so her question to the L-rd in verse 22 was justified. The answer she received back from G-d explains it all. The two children within her were rivals from conception.

Scripture does not promise us trouble free children or a trouble free life for that matter. In fact Yeshua tells us that we'll have exact opposite.

Yochanan (John) {16:33} "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

Hear in Bereshit 25:22-23, we're reading about Rivkah, carrying two children, twins, yet one will turn out to be a rebel, cursed by G-d, while the other a deceiver, blessed by G-d. Was any of what happened to these two boys a reflection of Isaac's and Rivkah's parenting techniques?

Your responsibility as a godly believing parent is to raise G-d fearing children. You are to teach them the word of G-d as Scripture commands, line by line, precept by precept, loving them and raising them up in the admonition of HaShem. The choices they ultimately make in their lives are theirs.

While you're definitely going to be held accountable for how you raise your children and how diligently you teach them the word of G-d, ultimately they will be responsible for their own salvation. G-d doesn't have any grandchildren.

Yechezk'el / Ezekiel: {18:20} "The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.

As a parent your responsibility ends at leading your children to the right pathway, loving them and providing a safe nurturing home for them to grow up in, beyond these you will not be held accountable. If after you fulfil your responsibilities as a parent and your child turns out bad you will not be to blame, neither will you be able to take the credit if they turn out good. When we raise our children as prescribed by the L-rd, we're merely doing that which G-d expects of us. The ultimate outcome of your child's life and your life as well, will be based on the choices made. We're all responsible for our own choices.

Take Adam for instance. He was raised by G-d, yet Adam chose to disobey, does that make G-d a failure? Of course not! Adam like all humans had free will and he used that free will to make the wrong choice, yet G-d still used the choice Adam made to accomplish His will. Take a look at Israel. G-d chose them, loved them, gave them a good home and everything they needed to succeed, yet they chose to reject Him and go their own way.

Yeshayahu (Isaiah): {1:2} Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth! For the L-RD has spoken: "I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against Me; {1:3} The ox knows its owner and the donkey its master's crib; but Israel does not know, my people do not consider."

What G-d is saying here is, "My children don't listen to me!" Now doesn't that sound familiar? So parents you can enroll in Bill Gothard, you can read volumes of Dr. Dobson, but none of it will guarantee that your child will turn out right. Praise be to G-d however, that most children who are raised with G-d in their home, don't rebel and those who do, may only do so for a season.

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Baruch HaShem
Rabbi Ya'acov Farber


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